All right. So you liked From The Time The Dwarves (Briefly) Served Loki. Here. Have some more Cursed Magic Items, with compliments of the Dark Lords.
Mithril Underwear. Technically, this is excellent armor for a very sensitive area.
But it sure does ITCH.
Dice Of Almost-Perfect Luck. These dice will roll absolutely perfectly until you REALLY REALLY REALLY need a specific result. Then they’ll do the opposite.
They’re waiting.
Master Letter-Opener. Very very VERY similar to the Master Sword, and VERY useful if you’re ever attacked by something either very, very small, or made out of envelopes.
Amulet of Evil Detection. These Amulets glow entirely at random. Most people do not know this. They DO know that it’s obviously magical and says, in big, friendly letters, ‘Amulet of Evil Detection’ on the back. Whenever you’re in the presence of Evil, or, indeed, anything, such as Good, Bemusement, Anxious Fear of the Sunset, etc., there’s a chance this will glow. Or maybe it won’t. Who knows?
House on Chicken Legs. On the one hand, this is actually a pretty cool place to live, and the mobility is very helpful.
However, ever since Baba Yaga went Hollywood and left the House behind, you’ve had an increasing compulsion to walk the thing down to Popeyes and see what a fried chicken professional can do with a 16′ drumstick
Mjölnirette. As with Mjölnir, you’ll need a girdle of magical strength-increase to lift it, and iron gauntlets to avoid burning your hands. And the girdle will be a bit of a problem, as it’s designed for someone human-sized, and Mjölnirette is about half the length of the average toothpick. It wouldn’t even look good on a necklace.
It will be INCREDIBLY useful for any Hero who is transformed into someone very, very tiny.
Who will then not be able to use it at all if returned to regular size. Sorry.
The Magic Words Which Do Not Actually Describe Anything And Are Not Magical.
FALLING CARPET. This is almost entirely like a flying carpet, except when you get on it and say the magic words, it immediately drops ten stories down.
This is bad if you’re in an eleven-story building. It’s REALLY bad if you’re, say, on solid ground or on a boat.
What happens if you activate it from the top of the Great Pyramid, only Aleister Crowley knows.
The Holy Grill. Many, many Knights rode forth to try to find the Grill, and most of them found it, and that’s where they are, right now, over by the grill, swilling mead and roasting hot dogs.
The Magic Lamp Which Summons A Djinn. Oddly enough, the cursed version of this object is exactly the same as the regular version. Actually, that’s not odd; have you ever MET a Djinn?
Crystal Skulls. The moment you acquire this skull, you’ll get an urge to fill it with vodka and drink it all. This will not stop until the World runs out of vodka. This IS a cursed object, but it is a bit of a consolation if you’ve encountered any of the OTHER cursed objects out there.
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