Out of your curiosity, what exactly did you think was going to happen?
Do you think someone who has lived multiple unnatural lifetimes is going to trust the abilities of a bunch of sword-welding semihumans and limbrained monsters against a bunch of psychotic adventurers?
I imagine you don’t necessarily entirely consider yourselves the latter, which is rather silly of you, but understandable. So I suppose you figured that this was going to be easy.
But this dungeon went co-op like five years ago. It is basically a condominium.
You thought you were coming here to defeat the ancient undead wizard? And steal her treasure? No. You are here to pay the back property taxes.
And that’s only if you win. Either that, or you’re dead, and your bodies will help pay as soon as we can sacrifice them to the Coto.
Look. I don’t make the rules. And I didn’t tell you to do any of this. I’m not the one who suggested that this would be some sort of good idea. I have no idea how you plan to carry home the mountains of treasure that you expect to find. You do expect to find mountains of treasure, right? You didn’t kill a half of your party (would you like to buy some condolence cards? You’ll be leaving through the gift shop)…for no treasure at all, right?
Nope. This Lich basically lives in a closet and reads books. That’s it. She didn’t even notice you when you walked in and taught her head off. I’m not even sure that actually killed her.
But at least you were able to steal the ancient artifact from around her neck. This artifact will let you into the vault of Leng. There, you will find a pinball machine from 1967 in nearly perfect condition. Should be worth a good 30 or 40 gold pieces.
Are you having fun yet?
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