Hello!
Do YOU want to be part of a vast army of Dark Lords?
Well, you can’t be. There are only two Sith. That’s the Rule of Two.
But you COULD be part of a VERY VERY TINY group of Dark Lords, one of whom will eventually slay the other, unless at least one of them becomes immortal and plans to essentially dangle semi-ultimate power in front of you forever, or until you try to take it and (probably) die.
Now, does YOUR job offer that level of job security?
We’re betting it offers WORSE job security, because we know something about the Universe you live in, and it still thinks digital watches were a pretty neat idea.*
Sure, you’re very unlikely to become one of the two Sith Lords, but you could be one of the highly expendable Sith Minions, or one of the slightly less expendable Sith Not Minions. But Somebody Reasonably Important. This is a good deal, because we’ve heard you might be a little short for a Stormtrooper.
Join the Sith! It offers vast wealth, sometimes. Sure, there are also times when you need to pretend to be intensely poor, but what is suffering compared to power unlimited?
Oh, it also offers power unlimited, or as close as you can get to it without dying, burning out, or being murdered by the other Sith Lord.
Actually, the “being murdered by the other Sith Lord” isn’t technically compulsory, it’s just what’s happened invariantly for the past thousand years or so.
But the rest is probably true, unless it isn’t. And that’s a deal you can take to the bank!
If you haven’t robbed it yet.
You might even be lucky enough to live while Palpatine is Emperor, which will be forever, obviously. Because sure, you’ll never become Emperor yourself, but Palpatine has so many secret apprentices he’ll probably forget to kill you for quite some time.
And your lightsaber is WAY cooler than those Jedi things.
Join the Sith!
You probably won’t be killed immediately!
You probably won’t die too slowly!
You probably won’t go mad or blast off your own head with power!
Your Master/apprentice will inevitably betray you, but that’s okay, because that’s what you’re into, you weirdo!
Also:
There will be cake.
* For the record, they WERE, Douglas.
My name is Jeff Mach (“Dark Lord” is optional) and I build communities, put on events, and make stories come into being. I also tweet a lot over @darklordjournal.
