If For Some Insane Reason You Like A Writer’s Work You Could

…tell a friend. This friend will now know they are supposed to like something and at least read the back cover. It’s better than nothing.

…tell an enemy. The enemy would see no reason to tell you this it’s some kind of trick 17% of those who believe this buy books. It adds up, pal.

…not eat it. It doesn’t get better that way. Nor take less time, in any sense of the word, to digest.

…buy it. I can’t imagine why anyone would actually do it, but apparently it was important in the 17th century, so we leave it in for nostalgic reasons.

…shower the author with gold bars. This may kill them, but they’d be one of the few authors who dies rich, and the can gloat in the Afterworld, if there is one.

…immediately call an ambulance. Two ambulances. Six ambulances. Oh God, the humanity….

…give it a good review. Apparently, even though the BOOK doesn’t care, your opinion matters.

…feed it to sharks. Sharks will eat just about anything.

…feed sharks to it. We won’t tell you how this is possible, and we won’t describe it either.

Support your local library. Maybe they’ll be so surprised someone remembers what a “library” us they’ll support your friend’s book. Could happen.

-Jeff Mach,
Dark Lord
patreon.com/thatjeffmach