Never, ever, ever upon a time,
there was no kingdom at all,
no magic,
no Dragons,
no Knights,
no sandwiches
(not that sandwiches were really missed, not in a land where one has “toasties”) –
and, indeed, there was no time at all.
no space.
no dimensions.
just darkness.
Now, how was there darkness?
Wasn’t there nothing?
Why, no!
No,
there was something, something
like nothing,
specifically,
there was no world,
no spaceships,
no Moon landing,
no alien,
exactly one taco
(I ate it, sorry)
and darkness, darkness.
Never ever ever ever,
there was that of which
George Harrison told us to beware:
Darkness.
In this world of emptiness,
this world where all there was
was the absence of anything to see,
the ability to move forever and a day
and go nowhere,
this blinding shadow without end,
there was only one thing,
not a tangible thing,
not a physical thing,
not a thing you could hear
or sense
or taste (be grateful),
just the one thing, the one
damn
thing,
my ultimate and
implacable hatred
of all other humans
everywhere,
everywhen,
everyhow,
a force,
a thing,
a sensation,
a being
so vast
that it had its own
plane
its own dimension
its own ultra-space,
and all that blackness
is contained in my heart
and my heart
(as I’ve told you before)
isn’t there;
there’s nothing but a black
hole in
my chest, and now,
at last,
you know a little what that hole is like.
Humanity,
I hate you as a whole,
but you have some very nice individuals,
and to be perfectly honest,
I think that’s actually a bit more optimistic
than how most people feel about the world.
So it is;
so mote it be;
Excelsior!
My name is Jeff Mach (“Dark Lord” is optional) and I build communities and create things. Every year, I put on Evil Expo, the Greatest Place in the World to be a Villain. I also write a lot of fantasy and science fiction.. You can get most of my books right here. Go ahead, pre-order “I HATE Your Prophecy“. It may make you into a bad person, but I can live with that.
