The Cosmic Valentine

The answer was there; it’s been there for centuries. But like most of the truly important, truly meaningful discoveries of our time, we ignored the real understanding because we were so close, we couldn’t see the proverbial forest for the proverbial trees.

True love is the most powerful thing on Earth.

Love conquers all.

It’s was hard to really know what this meant until humanity began to get an inkling of the real implications. And even then, it was almost too late. The wrong people had too much leverage. They were close to winning.

But one brave coterie of scientists dared challenge traditional knowledge and understanding. It fought hard and got the funding (some say that someone in power had once experienced True Love and thus knew its awesome puissance, but that’s only speculation)—and embraced a new era of Love.

This was Love at its finest. No combination of consenting adult humans was ignored. All Love was honored, respected, and, most of all, examined thoroughly, under laboratory conditions.

As was the case with atomic energy, as was the case with fire itself, as was the case in so much of the technological advancement of our species, our understanding was (and still is) very far from complete. Everyone’s well-aware that there’s some kind of chemical reactivity going on, but what happens from there? Many people have advanced what are essentially mystical ideas, suggesting that there’s some kind of universal force related to humanity which permits some kind bond between humans which can’t be seen or touched or measured, but which is nevertheless present between them at all times. This will probably prove as incorrect as phlogiston theory, or the idea that the world is made out of four elements, or that the Earth goes around the Sun; but who knows?

What we do know is that Love can change the face of the planet itself.

And just in time, too.

It took a lot of research, but we were able to reproduce True Love under laboratory conditions; to manufacture it artificially, like Plutonium. And thus we could study it properly, and now we know what Love is for. I’ll try to put it simply.

It’s difficult to describe in lay terms, but if you’re able to manufacture enough True Love, and you smash several pieces of it together, it explodes like nothing we’ve ever seen before.

This was the breakthrough weapon, and fortunately, our side discovered it first. We were only a few months, perhaps even a few weeks ahead, but we did come out ahead. Which makes sense, for, as our history books shall say, only we truly know how to love. And that’s why we were the first to weaponize it.

It took only a few small demonstrations—statistically, the majority of the continents of this world remain intact—and now, we rule. And we are making refinements every day; with proper military funding, the project proceeds at an unbelievable pace. We are eliminating the less-efficient forms of love, which are, clearly, wrong, and finding only the best True Love. And so our culture thrives and is ever-improving, along with, as the poet said, “the beauty of our weapons”.

None shall oppose us; none can stand against our Love without being destroyed by it. And isn’t that the real meaning of romance?

Thus we Love our enemies; we Love them to death, if need be. For Love is the law, love under our implacable and merciless Will.

~Jeff Mach


Here’s my novel, “There and NEVER, EVER BACK AGAIN“.

And here’s Evil Expo, the Convention for Villains.

Jeff Mach Written by:

Jeff Mach is an author, playwright, event creator, and certified Villain. You can always pick up his bestselling first novel, "There and NEVER, EVER BACK AGAIN"—or, indeed, his increasingly large selection of other peculiar books. If you'd like to talk more to Jeff, or if you're simply a Monstrous Creature yourself, stop by @darklordjournal on Twitter, or The Dark Lord Journal on Facebook.

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