“Come To The Dark Side – We Have Uranium”

(This is a piece from my Steampunk rock opera, “Absinthe Heroes.” Note that it’s sung by two protagonists – Chastity, and Captain Adastra – and the antagonist, Dr. Antikythera. Note also that, as with much of my Steampunk writing, I’ve intentionally left in some parts which make sense in a 19th century setting, but in the 20th century, are designed to make you say, “Waaaaaait a minute…”)

Dr. Antikythera:

Come join with me
We have riches untold
Lovers so bold
Your breath will steam;

Glories on so very vast a scale
Your waking life will outsail
Your greatest of dreams!

It’s true, a few will perish in pain
But we’ll cherish the rain
That wipes away grief.

The riches of the world to be plucked;
Concubines to construct
A soothing relief.

Think of the civilization we’ll will
Our workings will fill
The sea, land and space!

Indeed, the very ether we’ll plumb
No Golden Age will come —
We’ll do better:

And lace!

Sure, some millions will be dead
And a few will be fed
To tyrannosaurs, on
The Solstice eve…

Ah, but some murder
Might take you further
And truly great things

Captain Adastra:

You must be mad
You must be mad
No-one could say that
If he were sane

Too much absinthe
Too much smoke
Somewhere your mind
Was stained

With something awful
Something dire
Some inhuman


You must be evil
You must be evil
Born without a soul

Like an ogre
Like a ghoul
Like a troglydite
Or troll

Some creature out
Of myth
Dark as pitch
And pith

Adastra and Chas:

But there’s a problem
There’s a problem
And it’s solid as a stone

If you’re mad
Or if you’re evil–

You are not alone


The world is mad
The world is mad
It’s mad, far as
I can tell

It’s human folly
To say “sane” or “mad”
As if it were some kind
Of spell

You can’t chain it up
With speech;
That’s past human reach.


Is there evil?
There is evil
You may be evil,
I admit

But you’re half evil
And half otherwise
And for I, too
That fits

I’d try you on
As ruler;
We’ve had crueler.

Adastra and Chastity:

You make an excellent proposition
Why should we give opposition?


I want to see the wonders come.


I want to hear the engines hum


It may be horrible, and then some–


But without risk, you’re a ghost.


I’ll take your hand; I’ll take your side.


Let’s try the things that none have tried.


I’ll do my damnedest, and with pride.


I’ll drink to that
An absinthe toast.


~Jeff Mach



My name is Jeff Mach (“Dark Lord” is optional) and I build communities, put on events, and make stories come into being. I also tweet a lot over @darklordjournal.

I write books. You should read them!

Jeff Mach Written by:

Jeff Mach is an author, playwright, event creator, and certified Villain. You can always pick up his bestselling first novel, "There and NEVER, EVER BACK AGAIN"—or, indeed, his increasingly large selection of other peculiar books. If you'd like to talk more to Jeff, or if you're simply a Monstrous Creature yourself, stop by @darklordjournal on Twitter, or The Dark Lord Journal on Facebook.

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