If there’s one thing I’m dedicated to opposin’
It’s fantasy heroes who are Chosen
A trope that I wish frozen and done?
That damned idea of The Chosen One!
The idea that someone’s special for being born
Ain’t no good; ain’t nothin’ but corn.
Good plotlines go on vacation
When you bring in predestination.
Are we robots? Automatons?
To have our lives inflicted-upon;
To be helpless tools of Fate?
That’s something to which I can NOT relate.
I’d rather the world be claimed by force,
Than have the stars chart our every course.
The only way to keep Chosen Ones honest
Is to do your damnedest, your very doggonest
To kill the bastards with great dispatch
And not allow their schemes to hatch.
The Chosen One is Destined to win?
Not in any Universe
That I want to live in.
___
(In contrast, being a Dark Lord
Gives purpose to my Barbarian Horde
and makes my Moat Monsters gleam
With pride and blasphemous magical steam.
It allows me to stand with pride,
Unspeakable demons by my side,
At the head of an Army vaster than vast,
And lends zest to every spell I cast.
The Dark Lord’s life is way more fun
Than any flipping Chosen One;
But soon enough, my Dragons will hatch,
And roast them all with appropriate dispatch.)
_____
“It’s a little-known fact, but Unicorns are something like 20% paint, and their horns are stolen exclusively from endangered species.”
― There and Never, Ever Back Again
You could go here to join my mailing list.
You could find more of my books and other work here on Amazon.
