Always, Always Blame The Bard

Is her syndrome pure Picard?
Doesn’t matter. Blame the Bard.

Does his beard put Rapunzel to shame?
Doesn’t matter. The Bard’s to blame.

Do those who go ’round telling tales
Have responsibility when moral fails?

Yes, they do. Hail, and well-met:
They’ve done us wrong. Do not forget.

Bards sing for their supper. Well, a supper bland
Awaits any unpleasing band.

So they play the tunes we want to hear,
And if truth is fuzzy and lies are clear

Blame both Teller, and the Tale,
And also, the Listener. Because your fail

Drives the lies, and drives the liars!
Extinguishes nothing. Lights more fires.

But lies you want, for lies are sweet.
I ask you this alone, if we should meet:

Let me tell you a tale to make you smile,
And I, in turn, with no inch of guile,

Will take your wallet, and tell you, sadly,
It’s the way of the world, and the world goes badly.

And if you choose belief without question,
Be lucky your wallet’s my only contestion!

For I could take your heart and leave you
In a tub of ice, conceive you

As a dying soul, of organs bereft
And if you and your life are cleft,

Worry not. Just trust the Bard.
Don’t be surprised. Didn’t I say,
“Life is hard”?

when it gets worse,

blame the Bard.

~Jeff Mach


My name is Jeff Mach (“Dark Lord” is optional) and I build communities, put on events, and make stories come into being. I also tweet a lot over @darklordjournal.

I write books. You should read them!

Jeff Mach Written by:

Jeff Mach is an author, playwright, event creator, and certified Villain. He's currently working on the Great Catskills Halloween Vendor Market & Spectacle. You can always pick up his bestselling first novel, "There and NEVER, EVER BACK AGAIN", or "I HATE Your Prophecy"—or, indeed, his increasingly large selection of other peculiar books. If you'd like to talk more to Jeff, or if you're simply a Monstrous Creature yourself, stop by @darklordjournal on Twitter, or The Dark Lord Journal on Facebook.