November 22, 2024 / cookbook

A Traditional Fable Mead Cocktail – from Wonderplace Alpha

First, steal Fire from the Gods.

This always makes them mad. Furious, in fact. Dare we say it really…burns their biscuits? (That’s one of the advantages of this particular theft: once it’s done, you can burn all the biscuits you want.)

And while the Gods are distracted by your theft of Fire, steal Alcohol.

It’s said that the first Mead was distilled by the Dwarven hero Gek, who was either seeking a potion of Eternal Life, or was just super annoyed that the other Dwarves made fun of him for keeping bees in a cave. He sought something stronger than beer, sweeter than sugarcane. Mead was what he chose…

  • 3 oz Mead (Ambrosia – the drink of the gods, none of whom drink as few as 3 oz)
  • 1 oz Pomegranate Juice (Sorry, Persephone)
  • 1/2 oz Greek Yogurt Syrup (Sorry, everyone)
  • 1/2 oz Honey Syrup (Nectar of the Bees)
  • 1/2 oz Lemon Juice (This has no classical significance, but the cocktail would taste terrible without it)
  • A Dash of Bitter Herbs (That’s just life, man.)
  • Fresh Mint Leaves (Easily available if you run a Greek city-state.)
  • Edible Gold Dust (Midas Touch; alternately, Goldfinger; alternately, you thought you could afford this?)

Instructions:

  1. Make Greek Yogurt Syrup: Combine 1 part Greek yogurt with 1 part simple syrup (equal parts sugar and water, heated until sugar dissolves, then cooled). Mix well until smooth. Try not to think about what the yogurt looks like.
  2. Prepare Honey Syrup: Mix equal parts honey and hot water until the honey dissolves completely. Let it cool before using. Do not drink the hot water.
  3. Combine Ingredients: In a cocktail shaker, combine mead, pomegranate juice, Greek yogurt syrup, honey syrup, lemon juice, and a dash of bitter herbs. Frankincense is optional.
  4. Shake: Not stirred.
  5. Strain: Strain the mixture into a chilled glass. Strain credulity at all other times.
  6. Garnish: Sprinkle a pinch of edible gold dust over the top and garnish with fresh mint leaves and Treasury bonds.

Enjoy!

This cocktail, rich with the flavors and symbols of classical mythology, is perfect for summoning the spirit of ancient Greece in your next celebration. Raise a glass and toast to the gods and heroes of old!

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Jeff Mach Written by:

Jeff Mach is an author, playwright, event creator, and certified Villain. He's currently working on the Great Catskills Halloween Vendor Market & Spectacle. You can always pick up his bestselling first novel, "There and NEVER, EVER BACK AGAIN", or "I HATE Your Prophecy"—or, indeed, his increasingly large selection of other peculiar books. If you'd like to talk more to Jeff, or if you're simply a Monstrous Creature yourself, stop by @darklordjournal on Twitter, or The Dark Lord Journal on Facebook.

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