A Stolen Story

Once there was a story that stopped before it began, but you could not help but suspect that, somewhere, there were a thousand missing words which had been stolen.

And they were.

But they weren’t stolen from you.

They were stolen for you.

We are forming a Cabal of thoughtcriminals, preparing to thieve the World of its painful madness, and put, in its stead, a merry band of strange and defiant weirdos amidst a chaotic backdrop where we are taught to fear everything.

But we will steal the fear and put flowers in its place; we will disrupt the tidal wave of uncertainty with support, and we will do so, not because we claim to be good or to know what’s right, but because we are monsters, misfits, and in a moment when it seems like the whole World is against everyone, it’s time for a few people to rise up and be against the World.

We’ve never fit in before, not even when fitting in meant security and sanity and safety. So we sure as Hell won’t fit in now, when it means pure burning misery for all and sundry.

Come with us, if you want to see how the story ends. We promise: we’ve stored the Ending in a very safe place with a bottle of wine, a good meal, a warm bed, and plenty of moonlight.

What more could you ask for?

So this is THE END of the story for some people, and THE BEGINNING for an army of freaks and strange-souled malefactors.

Let’s get this party started.

Somewhere, hidden in the lack of words below, is a secret message. It’s a secret to me, too, so don’t worry; we’re equal here. All of us exist together in this peculiar little time; and a surreal Universe calls for surreal makers of strange and sinister plots.

Join us! Join us! Join us!

We’ll be Villainpunks for life, and, for some of us, all the way straight through to Undeath, as well.

Hoist a pirate flag and a pirate flagon, and let’s set a course for What Might Be.

And steal it, of course.

~Jeff Mach


My name is Jeff Mach (“Dark Lord” is optional) and I build communities, put on events, and make stories come into being. You can get most of my books right here. Go ahead, pre-order I HATE Your Prophecy“. It may make you into a bad person, but I can live with that.


Jeff Mach Written by:

Jeff Mach is an author, playwright, event creator, and certified Villain. You can always pick up his bestselling first novel, "There and NEVER, EVER BACK AGAIN"—or, indeed, his increasingly large selection of other peculiar books. If you'd like to talk more to Jeff, or if you're simply a Monstrous Creature yourself, stop by @darklordjournal on Twitter, or The Dark Lord Journal on Facebook.

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