Sir Lord Henry Mortville Cantrip Sneed McDub (III)
Was the Paragon of the Adventurer’s Club (you’ve heard?)
A man such as this needs no introduction
But as we live in dark times, let me spread ineluction
He was tall, a tall man for an era
He had a devoted wife, whose name might have been Vera
He was a British Family Man entire
And saw his family on holidays, or when they were on fire
He put together a caravan
With all the resources of a resourceful man
The Club, in a dark and terrible ritual
Showed him tools and weapons beyond the habitual.
Long-firing gunpowder! Acid flowers
(Please remove the H2S04 for a few hours.)
And other inventions more esoteric
(I’d tell more, but they’d slay me
And you’d need a cleric.)
And they set out across the frozen Waste
As if by an icebox were they encased
The way became harder and harder
As if they were in some Giants’ larder.
….which they were, I fear.
The battle shan’t be described here.
Giants like a walk-in fridge:
Foes walk in, and stay a smidge
(or ten)
The fight was brief, sad to report;
It was nasty, brutish and short.
And the Giant King said to the rest of his court,
“But friends, we must be vigilant
To steal our horde was what they meant.”
They broke into hysterical laughter.
Then they did it twice.
“Oh, Great One,” gasped one of his companions,
“I’m more afraid of mice.”
(The Knight did get his revenge
One of the very best:
He might have lost the battle
But he’s quite hard to digest.
___________
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