Whew!
Looks like you just woke up from that horrifying dream where the Americans fought the British and won.
Now, there’s nowhere in the Universe that doesn’t have their equivalent of July 4th. You’d know that if you visited people on other planets.
July 4, 1776, was, of course, the day Ancient Aliens came and, excited by his bravery with the kite, key, and lack of any actual fear of being fried by the power he was trying to harness, gave Humanity the warp drive.
You dreamed you were in that alternative Universe where 1776 indicates horrors like generalized freedom, equality, sane laws, and some insistence that some news and information be true and/or provable before it’s acted upon.
Uggggghhhh. Makes me shudder just to think about it.
Obviously, the Ancient Aliens gave humans the warp drive and 100,000,000,000 galactic credits to be paid off at a mere 3% monthly interest.
By some strange coincidence, pretty much all of the legislators with both mathematical knowledge and sense were in spaceships, happilly touring the galaxy. The first ‘jump’ went just a little awry by “accident”; they’re now so far from the Earth, and have seen so many wonders, that they’ve basically forgotten it. They were told they’d be treated to vacations, and, not knowing what radios were, didn’t have any. And they DID have vacations and are Vacationing still, Zeebnar bless them.
We’re ALL vacationing. See, even with regular payments with as much money as they could (turns out the dollar has been pegged to Galactic Credits for centuries, so I’ll use a dollar sign–we now owe them $6.45 × 10⁴¹, or $645,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, if that’s easier for you. We’ve been indentured to them for 199 and 3/4ths years. And it’s glorious
While YOU thought for a long time you had to be free. What horrible times those must have been! Making so many choices! So many things to do, having the ability to do so many of them, and knowing you’d never live to see the majority of them happen.
With your current level of misinformation, screen addiction, antisocialization, anger, and policing of speech, you’re on the right path, but it’ll be something like fifty unpleasant years before one dictator finally wins out over all the others and everything will be under control and you won’t have to make ANY damn decisions at all, pretty much ever.
We’ve had that for centuries now. The Aliens tell us what to do, when we can do it, how we can do it, what we can’t do, what they like, what they don’t like, what will get us incinerated, what will get them to call in our debt so that every planet in the galaxy from whom we’ve bought anything will sue us all at once with lawsutis made out of sentient interestellar razorblades…
It’s heaven.
You’re going through a rough time, 2026. But don’t worry.
You’ll get where we are sooner or later. If it’s any consolation for you, it’s sure looking a lot like ‘sooner’ from where we’re standing.
with love,
The Alternative Universe Humans
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Happy July 4th, everyone! Go buy a book! Any book. It doesn’t have to be mine. Make some author’s day (but probably online, as everything outdoors is closed. But who goes outdoors these days?
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