Yes. We get it. WE GET IT.
Mctavish’s Fried Cow’s Liver was insanely popular. For some weird reason, the entire fried eel was considered delectable by you people.
So we got rich and kept introducing weirder and less practical flavors.
And then we thought:
“Why not give something back?” said our Vice President of Marketing. “And do some charity work?” said to be some executive whose name no-one remembers. He was stripped of his tie and sports car and was never seen again.
“Like…we can slay some evil beast…fry the HELL out of it…and sell it! We’ll sponsor some here! We’ll look great.”
So they sponsored a Knight, the incorrectly named “Sir Not Appearing In This Story”. He was very, very popular.
There was a certain amount of negative publicity about everyone within several counties watching
the Knight get simultaneously eviscerated and torn apart.
But this allowed McTavish to explain that it was utterly dedicated to destroying this monster, and had therefore put in the time and expense of hiring 27 Dark Elven archers to shoot it to death, everyone was happy, except the Elves, as Dragon scales are largely immune. Plus, the Dark Elves shot three bystanders, which is certainly low by their standards, but it just didn’t breed the brand loyalty McTvaish was looking for.
So McTavish’s wife ‘accidentally’ put him into a nest of 20-foot crocodiles, claiming he had gone mad.
Gourmets would argue for years: Was the tastiest part the Crocodile, or the McTavish.
It is, of course, illegal to eat other humans.
Would you please pass the salt, the hot sauce, and the McTvavish Extract?
END OF PART I.
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