13. Rules are for puny, tiny, insignificant, smushy little annoy-creatures. Rules are for other people. These are “suggestions for life” and Life should feel grateful that we decided to enertain the idea of being part of it.
12. Life is nasty, brutish, and short, unlike Ogres, who are nasty, brutish, and really, really not short.
11. Give a man a fish, and he’ll have a fish. Eat him, and this is one less thing to memorize all around.
10. It’s not your fault. But if it is your fault, take the largest convenient club, say a tree trunk. and beat to death anyone who doesn’t believe you when you say, “Man dead. I no-no there”.
9. You’re not afraid of the End of the World. The End of the World better be afraid of YOU..
8. Unless the end of the World is a bigger Ogre, obviously.
7. (Everything is a bigger Ogre.)
6. Even very, very grown-up Ogres are afraid of the dark.
5. It’s okay to eat milk and cookies, especially if they’re inside of orphans at the time.
4. Also, Ogres would like to state their superiority to numbers.
3. They doon’t need such silly things.
2. For example, “2” is just a number.
- And “1” is certain doom.
13. Fortunately, we’re far too stupid to know what number comes after “1”.
- [[[==
My name is Jeff Mach (“Dark Lord” is optional) and I build communities, put on events, and make stories come into being. I also tweet a lot over @darklordjournal.
I write books. You should read them!
