What’s on the menu at Monsteria?
(The most gourmet creature food in the local area).

Slug soup, with extra leeks
Rusty door, with extra creeks
A thousand sparrows with sharpened beeks,
and a dish of vanilla ice cream.

Fried juvenile miscreant,
Imported tears from a career mis-spent,
Ironically wood-smoked Ent,
and a dish of vanilla ice cream.

Bubbly, foamy Atlantean coffee,
Time-travelling Kantean toffee,
And soothing kava, if you’re feeling wrothy,
and vanilla ice cream.

If you think these meals are a mite unpleasant
If you don’t prefer human flesh to pheasant,
If you prefer your insects uneaten,
If you don’t use River Lethe to sweeten,

Shut off every thought and dream,
Stifle (in advance) a scream
If you think these foods are unseemly,
you should see what’s in
the vanilla
ice cream.

Jeff Mach Written by:

Jeff Mach is an author, playwright, event creator, and certified Villain. You can always pick up his bestselling first novel, "There and NEVER, EVER BACK AGAIN"—or, indeed, his increasingly large selection of other peculiar books. If you'd like to talk more to Jeff, or if you're simply a Monstrous Creature yourself, stop by @darklordjournal on Twitter, or The Dark Lord Journal on Facebook.