Some words of wisdom from Xarbinoth, Barbarian Lords of Shadow.

-Never send a box of chocolates when you have access to a box of live hand grenades,

-We all hurt the ones we love. Shoudln’t you be properly armed?

-If it bleeds, it can kill you.

-True beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, and if the beholder is looking at you through customized cross-hatches, run.

-If you can’t say it with flowers, you can improve it with mutant bees.

-Don’t worry, love. You were delicious.

Jeff Mach Written by:

Jeff Mach is an author, playwright, event creator, and certified Villain. You can always pick up his bestselling first novel, "There and NEVER, EVER BACK AGAIN"—or, indeed, his increasingly large selection of other peculiar books. If you'd like to talk more to Jeff, or if you're simply a Monstrous Creature yourself, stop by @darklordjournal on Twitter, or The Dark Lord Journal on Facebook.

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