In Case You Needed Them… Here Are More Signs YOU Are Actually The Evil Twin From A Parallel But Opposite Universe
13. You began this list by cheating and removing the 13th item.
12. You’ve milked a Mi-Go.
11. Your pet hamster is out playfully eating Godzilla, after which she plans on drinking the Pacific Ocean for a few centuries.
11. You’ve made at least one attempt to sue ‘Monster’ energy drink because it tastes way too similar to you.
10. Your wardrobe is actually a Mimic, but that’s fine, because your cloak is also a Mimic, too. In fact, you’ve only got about three hours to convince them that you don’t taste good. This would be a good day to stop bathing in barbecue sauce.
9. You have an EXCELLENT relationship with your family, even the parts of it who habitually spend most of the time knocking squirrels out of trees with their breath.
8. Your other twin, for reasons which are utterly inexplicable, has pupils in some weird shade which isn’t a nice, comforting, glowing red, like the warm embers of the Library of Alexandria being slowly shuffled off into the sands of the desert as a warning to others.
7. You’re not the evil twin because THERE ARE SEVEN OF YOU.
6. Your nickname is an animal like “Tiger” or “Bull”, even though you’re a tax lawyer and need to call the secretary for a finger splint if you move a piece of paper that’s too heavy.
5. You collect beautiful rare things which you value over people, which is normal. However, it wasn’t until someone tried to explain the value of the object by comparing it to a person that you realized yes, some humans have value EVEN IF THEY AREN’T cobalt blue
4. When you try to see your reflection in the mirror, the mirror shatters pre-emptively, not necessarily because you’re not attractive, but because it has the sudden hope that maybe, just maybe, a glass shard will find your jugular. We won’t say why. Oh, Gods, what these mirrors have seen.
3. …and if it doesn’t shatter, you find yourself accidentally stepping through and becoming…exactly the same as you were before.
2. Even though you two look exactly alike, you are WAY more handsome.
- You remember the Mimic we mentioned earlier? You’re dating her. Or maybe she’s dating you; we’re never quite sure how that works out.
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[I write things. You can find some of them on Amazon.]
