- Yes, you’ll probably be buried alive at some point. This is particularly unpleasant for those with claustrophobia. On the other hand, modern witch-hunters have, as yet, found no way to have sturdy coffins built via complaints on the internet, and many of them have never even picked up a shovel before. So probably, you’re technically below ground level, but most likely you’re not covered by grave dirt. Just hammer determinedly on the coffin for a while. It’s probably poorly-assembled and from IKEA. You should be able to get out and wreak appropriate vengeance.
- Do not confuse the real world, wherein brilliant artist Andy Warhol promised us all “15 minutes of fame”, with the current world, wherein all of us will instead be the objects of Orwell’s “Two Minute Hate”, several times over.
- Some days, people will NOT bury you in a coffin. Instead, they will interact with you. These will be known as “the bad days”.
- Social media is your friend. In fact, it is your ONLY friend. Should you be denied its headlines of outrage and its infrequent pictures of cats, you will wither away and die in a few days, and we will turn you into soup.
- AVOID THE SOUP.
- It was once theorized that the way to deal with bad things in the world was to try to achieve stability and comfort so one could devote one’s mental and physical resources towards fighting bad things.
- It is now known that if you put ALL OF YOUR ENERGY into being AS UNCOMFORTABLE AS POSSIBLE, you’ll have no CHOICE but to fight the bad things, because otherwise, you’d have no purpose in life. So….plush cushions are out, spike-covered office seats are in!
- Future historians will look back on this time period and laugh.
- No, just kidding; they’ll cry.
- …oh, who am I trying to fool. There IS no future.
Enjoy the ride!
My name is Jeff Mach (“Dark Lord” is optional) and I build communities and create things. Every year, I put on Evil Expo, the Greatest Place in the World to be a Villain. I also write a lot of fantasy and science fiction.. You can get most of my books right here. Go ahead, pre-order “I HATE Your Prophecy“. It may make you into a bad person, but I can live with that.
