This Resort Is Not Haunted
The Management would like to take a moment to address certain rumours alleging supernatural activity upon the premises.
We would like to remind you that we live in a material world, and that of the ethereal and immaterial is known to nonexist.
In other words, if there were such things as ghosts, they wouldn’t be, because there’s no such things as ghosts.
This property is assuredly not haunted.
They’re definitely not haunting anything around here.
They certainly do not have a preference for steak and whiskey.
Don’t feed them.
I mean, REALLY don’t feed them!
But don’t worry.
They’re completely harmless.
At least to other ghosts, anyway.
