Our No Ghosts Guarantee

This Resort Is Not Haunted

The Management would like to take a moment to address certain rumours alleging supernatural activity upon the premises.

We would like to remind you that we live in a material world, and that of the ethereal and immaterial is known to nonexist.

In other words, if there were such things as ghosts, they wouldn’t be, because there’s no such things as ghosts.

This property is assuredly not haunted.

They’re definitely not haunting anything around here.

They certainly do not have a preference for steak and whiskey.

Don’t feed them.

I mean, REALLY don’t feed them!

But don’t worry.

They’re completely harmless.

At least to other ghosts, anyway.

Jeff Mach Written by:

Jeff Mach is an author, playwright, event creator, and certified Villain. You can always pick up his bestselling first novel, "There and NEVER, EVER BACK AGAIN"—or, indeed, his increasingly large selection of other peculiar books. If you'd like to talk more to Jeff, or if you're simply a Monstrous Creature yourself, stop by @darklordjournal on Twitter, or The Dark Lord Journal on Facebook.