I Once Knew An Ogre

I once knew an Ogre, and he was a fool
The stupidest Ogre of Ogre School

He couldnt find love wiith a stick and a map
He couldn’t catch a mate with an AI-based trap.

He couldn’t support himself except
By doing jobs through which he slept;

They required of his limited mind
No actions, either cruel or kind.

Ogre, Ogre, moron, fool,
Where will you find somebody who’ll

Put up with crudeness, rudeness, lewdness
And an unappetizing nudeness?

Ogre, ogre, brains of sand,
Nothing worked out like you planned.

Found a mate Your mate left.
Of a life you’re sore bereft.

Found a job? Found a home?
You’ve less brains than a concrete garden gnome.

I once knew an Ogre Lord:
And time with him, I can’t afford
Of his stupidity, be assured;
and worse than that,
he’ll leave you deathly bored.

(to my ex-friend, Ogre)

Jeff Mach Written by:

Jeff Mach is an author, playwright, event creator, and certified Villain. You can always pick up his bestselling first novel, "There and NEVER, EVER BACK AGAIN"—or, indeed, his increasingly large selection of other peculiar books. If you'd like to talk more to Jeff, or if you're simply a Monstrous Creature yourself, stop by @darklordjournal on Twitter, or The Dark Lord Journal on Facebook.