(Yes, it’s one of our recipes.)
“I will NOT serve…breakfast. I won’t be up that early.”
~a certain fallen Angel
Dark Powers help us, you’ve been invited to tea, and you don’t want to inflict another soggy finger sandwich on the world, because you don’t want the world to start getting used to suffering before you have time to bring your Planetbusting Agony Ray properly into orbit. Very well!
Have no dread: present this old Roman dish (maybe toothpicked over squares of Stinging Nettle Cheddar) and you will be the most envied, as well as the prettiest of all. Kallisti!
We Villainpunks often admire the ancient Romans, perhaps because both cultures have the same philosophy: If you say it with enough authority, and say it in Latin, people will give you respect. Or, as the aforementioned Romans often remarked:
“Illiud Latine dici non potest.”
Yield: 4 servings
Skill Level: 1
12 pitted dates
1/4 cup chopped, toasted pine nuts
1 tsp, cinnamon
1 tsp, nutmeg
5 tablespoons port wine. (Alternately, if you like your dessert very, very sweet, you could use an Eiswein. They’re quite a lot more expensive than cooking-level port, but they’re absolutely delicious, and besides, as is well known, everything sounds more sinister in German.)
1/8 teaspoon ground black pepper (optional)
1/4 cup honey
DIRECTIONS:
Stuff dates with chopped nuts: the nuts are inserted into the space left by the pit.
Place dates in a small pan. Sprinkle with pepper if desired. I mean, it’s your pan; who’s going to object?
Stir the cinnamon and nutmeg into the wine.
Add wine, and then drizzle honey over dates. Cook over medium heat until the skins begin to peel off the fruit.
Transfer dates to a serving dish, and allow cooling slightly before serving.
Note: It’s rumoured that this recipe also works with our Spiced Brandy instead of wine, for that charming overwhelming superabundance of flavors. Ourselves, we’ve never dared to try it. If you give it a shot, do let us know how it works out? Assuming you survive and such.
You could also, for a real kick of sophisticated but approachable sweetness, use Goblin Alchemy Mead. We certainly do.
