August 6, 2022 / general weirdness

A Few Silly Thoughts

I opened this post up to find nothing inside it, so I decided to give you a few silly thoughts while I had a moment.

  1. We’re not going to take it; no, we aren’t going to take it. We are not going to take it anymore.
  2. We’re going to take it. We just like starting off whatever we say with some kind of statement like that.
  3. I believe I am at the age where I judge people based on whether or not they have a favorite Muppet.
  4. I don’t think you should marry your best friend. I think you should marry my best friend. He’s lonely.
  5. It takes more muscles to buy a nuclear submarine than to frown. Therefore, buying nuclear submarines is good for you. Probably better than carrot juice. Alert the Navy.
  6. If more of us thought of good food and good company instead of gold and conquest, we would have really, really boring stories.
  7. There is no number 7.
  8. I’m kidding. Number 7 is actually the only part of this piece which exists and, in fact, the only thing which exists in the Universe. Bow and do homage to its eternal glory and eternal sevenosity.
  9. Nine, in contrast, is just a wee bit dull in comparison.
  10. But trust me, you can’t handle 11.
  11. [KABOOOOOOOM!]

_____

“It’s a little-known fact, but Unicorns are something like 20% paint, and their horns are stolen exclusively from endangered species.”
― Jeff Mach, There and Never, Ever Back Again

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Jeff Mach is an author, playwright, event creator, and certified Villain. You can always pick up his bestselling first novel, "There and NEVER, EVER BACK AGAIN"—or, indeed, his increasingly large selection of other peculiar books. If you'd like to talk more to Jeff, or if you're simply a Monstrous Creature yourself, stop by @darklordjournal on Twitter, or The Dark Lord Journal on Facebook.